Navy Tales
From 1971 to 1975 I spent some time in the US Navy – ostensibly fighting communism or defending freedom of the seas or some such nonsense. The following is some of the exploits that I had – not all of them good as during that time I was a generally rebellious and ill behaved young man. There are also some tales of true stupidity from the Navy.
My time in the Navy was a long time ago. Some of these stories may be a bit embellished – memories do that.
Boot Camp
Boot Camp is an interesting experience. I didn’t understand what was happening – at first. Sure much of Boot Camp is designed to teach young recruits how to shower, scrub their chompers, make a bed, do laundry, clean a barracks etc. Living in the cramped quarters of a naval vessel is difficult enough without having to share the space with people that do not know how to clean themselves or their living space.
Recruits also learn military protocol. But, a significant portion of your time in camp is spent brainwashing. I had trouble getting my head around the brainwashing. When I had it figured out, I went through the remainder of camp without incident.
A – School
After boot camp I was assigned to Fire Control A-school in Great Lakes Illinois. I thought the school was basically a joke – I knew essentially everything that they wanted us to learn. One of my schoolmates had a bachelors degree in electrical engineering – I am certain he knew everything that was taught.
I had my first run-in because I and many of my schoolmates could not get a beer on base but were essentially allowed to go to the beach every evening and smoke pot. I complained and had my security clearance put at threat (not for the last time).
First Assignment in Long Beach
After learning a bit of electronics I was sent to the USS Decatur in Long Beach. Unfortunately the Decatur was not in Long Beach but rather was in Perth Australia. So, I was given orders to fly to Perth to meet the ship. The Navy, having one of its brighter ideas figured that was a waste and the cancelled the orders.
I returned to Long Beach and spent the next 30 days in temporary/transit housing. The Navy didn’t really know that I was there and so for the next month I was basically on vacation in Southern Cal. I got meals, and paid, but never got a work assignment. I was enjoying being in the navy. That wouldn’t last
Non-Judicial Punishment (NJP)
NJP (article 15) is called Non Judicial Punishment because, in my mind, there is absolutely nothing judicious about it.
Fighting
As recruits we had always been taught that fighting onboard a ship was forbidden. Should you hit a sailor you could expect 7 days restriction. Fighting back was even worse. I found out that this is not so. I was struck by Ronald Eddings and then struck again. Ron had about 70 pounds and 6 inches on me so fighting back was useless.
Bottom line was Ron got 14 days and I, for not fighting back, got 7 days restriction. So much for the Navy’s teachings. This was my first introduction to NJP but far from my last. As I said, I was a bit of a rebel.
Getting Drunk in Japan
Yeah, I got a bit wasted and generally out of control. I also went to the Captains Mast (NJP) and got another restriction.
Desertion?
The ship was in Portland OR just before Christmas in 1973. Craig Leppo convinced me (I was easy) to leave with him. I was gone on an extended vacation for 17 days. I was on my way back when I was arrested – for desertion. Go Figger, we were always taught that you needed to be gone 30 days for that charge. But then again I had learned what the Navies teachings are worth.
In any case I was arrested at my apartment in San Diego (I wasn’t really hard to find). I was taken to the Naval Station and released on liberty. The Navy couldn’t find my ship – and didn’t believe me when I told them Portland OR. They finally found the ship and as San Diego didn’t want me – off I went to Portland.
I got there and discovered that the USS Decatur didn’t want me either. In a day or two I was sent to the shore facilities in Bremerton WA. Needless to say, Bremerton didn’t want me – and so back the Decatur I went.
Once again I received NJP. The captain asked the Navy to issue me a general discharge. You see nobody seemed to want me anymore. The Navy, in their ultimate wisdom, opted to keep me; keep me at the Decatur and permanently remove my secret security clearance. I’m guessing that this removal was a bit egregious as many years later I received a top secret security clearance. I guess since a secret was permanently removed I had to get a top secret.
Bomb Threat
I don’t remember exactly when, but I had the duty one night and I was a part of the security response team. The ship received a bomb threat at about 2 in the morning and the security team was called. You can tell it is not a drill when the Master-at-Arms gives out real bullets with the guns.
I was assigned the outside ASROC door. ASROC (Anti-Submarine Rocket) was a nuclear capable system. As I arrived, someone entered the armory from the inside – setting off the alarm. Suffice it to say, I was a bit scared. The current Officer of the Deck decided to check the ASROC launcher for bombs. As he made his way to the launcher he had to duck under a rope that was temporarily installed as protection for the newly painted deck. As he crawled around the corner (under the rope) and into my view I loaded a round into the chamber and pointed at him. I ordered him to lie still – on the possibly still wet deck.
I’m not sure who was scared more – he obviously had the better reason (I had the gun), but my knees were shaking more than just a bit.
Security guard
One day I was a security guard as the ASROC team (and the ship as a whole) underwent an inspection of maintenance, safety and security issues. I manned the outside entrance to the launcher.
Two captains got their temporary badges from the inside guard. This was quite standard. However, when moving to the outside they switched badges. One of them approached me at outside station and produced his ID and temporary pass. Unfortunately, due to their trickery, the ID and pass did not match. I recognized the captain and he was on the entrance list – he just had the wrong badge. Naturally, I blew my whistle to alert the work crew that there was a security issue.
While people worked through the details, the captain asked me if I thought that he was a security risk shouldn’t I draw my weapon?. I responded, politely “Sir I have been trained not to draw my weapon unless I intend to use it. Should I draw it now?”
I never got any feedback form this event – but I heard that the captain was not a happy man as I basically had asked him if he would like to be shot.
Metric crescent wrenches
It is a classic joke that many newbies are sent to fetch a metric crescent wrench. At that time all crescent wrenches onboard the ship were English – 6″, 10″ etc. The “size” represents the wrench handle length. Needless to say I was sent for a metric crescent. Obviously not being able to find one on board, I left and went home. Came back the next day with a crescent from my bicycle tool maintenance kit. It was in fact a 250mm crescent. I enjoyed a bit of early liberty and you would think that the navy would have learned to not be so callous in their treatment of people. Such was not the case.
Locker Searches
As we departed for my first WestPac our ship had a locker inspection – probably to find drugs. I passed, I thought, no problem. There is no way to keep uniforms civvies, personal items and about 80 Books in a standup shipboard locker if you are not neat and I never had drugs on board. Westpac cruises are typically 7 months and libraries in the Pacific generally have a great selection of Louis L’Amour and that is about it. My collection contained a selection of real literature.
The next day the Master-at-Arms returned once more indicating that since I had flunked I would need to undergo an additional inspection/search. My locker was checked and every one of my books was flipped through to ensure that it was not hollowed out to hide drugs. Apparently anyone that likes to read that much must be doing drugs.
Planned Maintenance System (PMS)
After going AWOL in Portland, and having no security clearance, I was stuck in the Fire Control Group but could not enter any of the work spaces. The ship really didn’t know what to do with me. I cleaned the compartment real well though.
About 3 months later, the ship had a PMS inspection. The work group that I had been in just kept writing my name on the list to indicate that A. the maintenance had been done and B. I had done it.
Sure enough the inspectors picked that particular maintenance to observe. I was summoned to the Gun Plot workspace to show the inspectors what I had done. I refused, as Gun Plot was off limits to me. Finally the weapons boss (whose name escapes me) told me to “get my ass” down there “or else”. So I went.
Needless to say I didn’t do a sufficient job on the inspection. When queried, I explained that due to not having a security clearance I was not allowed in this space. I hadn’t worked in this space for a few months, and obviously had not performed this PMS for quite some time. Lack of practice was the only real reason for failure to perform adequately.
Since the Navy had not learned, the ship failed the PMS inspection – and I was finally moved to a new group. I finished my naval career as a storekeeper.
The Center for Naval Analysis (CNA)
After the navy I attended college-several of them in fact. I finished about ten years later as a Post-doc at the University of Iowa. My first job was at CNA. This was the beginning of Ronald Reagan’s “Starwars” project. For some reason I thought that CNA wanted me for my experience with laser development, operation and maintenance. Such was not the case as I was assigned to the Marine Corps Operational Analysis Group (MCOAG).
I spent just over two years at CNA. I met, or succeeded, every measure of productivity that I was given. I worked on improvements to the AAVP7A1 including demining equipment, mobility, and evaluating new guns and range finders. I also performed an analysis of battlefield laser capabilities and limitations. I evaluated a new laser detection system for helicopters and finally worked on the Landing Craft Air Cushion – a vehicle that was just entering the fleet.
My career at CNA came to a screeching halt when a “fleet letter” arrived concerning CNAs support of the LCAC during its first deployment. The CNA reps in the Pacific had determined that since no one was available the LCAC deployment would be done with “floating manpower” from other stations. I discussed with Chris Jehn (The head of MCOAG) how I had finished second to nobody. After all, it was a choice of me (who was available) and no one. I finished second. He tried to tell me that it wasn’t all that bad but could not tell me anything that was good about it.
Needless to say, I looked for a new job – immediately.
Conclusion
I never thought that I was treated fairly as a fire control technician. But to be fair, I never really earned that right. I finished as a storekeeper – and I think a pretty good one. I left the navy to re-pursue my education using the GI Bill to attend San Diego State University and University of Southern California.
I can honestly say that the best thing I got out of the Navy – was me.
I gave the navy a second try at CNA. But obviously this was another error. Once again the best thing to come out of the navy was – Me.